The Bun We’ve All Been Waiting For

December 5, 2017. The date of our second and hopefully last transfer. We woke up ready and excited to be trying this again! I took my antibiotic in the morning with breakfast and just relaxed all morning. Our appointment wasn’t until 1pm again.

We decided to head out a little early and get lunch beforehand. There really wasn’t anything in the area and my stomach was a little iffy so we settled on Subway! We had our lunch, I took my trusty Valium and we headed in to the office.

As tradition would have it, we took a selfie before going in 🙂

Again, I wasn’t allowed to go to the bathroom and I was starting to feel it! I.had.to.pee. BADLY. They took us back and had me get ready and get into a gown. They let us know that we were actually going to be the only ones back there today, so I wouldn’t have any neighbors. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to hear that. I had brought earphones to plug into my phone just incase I had someone next to me that wasn’t having a good recovery like last time. So happy to hear we would be alone. I think it just makes for an overall more peaceful experience to be honest.

This time around I don’t feel like the Valium was helping a whole lot. I still felt super nervous like there were butterflies flying all around in my body, not just my stomach. Dr. Moffitt called out that he was ready to have us come back into the procedure room. They had me read over the paper that stated my name and birthday and I initialed and signed it. The laboratory tech brought in the little dish with our embryo and sucked it up into the device the doctor was going to use to insert it. There it was! Our second future baby. Man I was praying that this time would be the time.

This round there was a tad bit more pain with the embryo going in, but that’s ok! It was in! We could see the little air bubble go in after the embryo on the ultrasound so we knew that it was in there. The doctor even gave us a picture of the ultrasound to have. Plus we have a picture of the actual embryo take minutes before it was inserted as well. I had to lie upside down for about an hour after they were done and then they let me go pee and then go home!

We went straight home and I went right to bed. I decided that I would even prop my bottom up on a pillow while laying in bed to try and help the embryo stay where it needed to. I have no clue if that is recommended or not, but you bet I still did it. Brandon was super good about me putting myself on bedrest for the full two days. I think he knew whatever was going to make me question myself less later on was the best for the right now.

Now with the last process I withheld from taking any home pregnancy tests prior to getting my blood drawn at the doctors office. But this time I really could not resist. I felt like this time around was different already and I felt more confident in checking myself at home. I didn’t have any cramps this time like I had already been having last time. I felt good and happy. It was just so different than last time, there really is no concrete evidence or way to describe it. I just had a great feeling. It definitely doesn’t mean that I wasn’t nervous as all get out to take that test. I tried waiting as long as I could. My friend that did IVF had started checking as early as three days after transfer to track her HCG levels (what makes the line show up on the pee stick). She told me she was able to see a very faint positive line on day five after her transfer.

Just to be safe I waited until day six to finally pee on a stick. Brandon had been working the day before so I went and bought some home pregnancy tests without him knowing. I wanted to “surprise” him if I got a positive one. Now obviously it wouldn’t be a complete surprise, but he wasn’t expecting me to check at home. The morning of the 11th, day six post transfer, I got up early to go into work. I decided to just go for it and take a home pregnancy test. I set it down on the counter and continued on with getting ready. Slightly hesitant to ever go look at it. I knew there was a chance that I could be pregnant but it not show up on the test, as it could still be too early to have enough HCG in my urine to make that line show up. So I prepared myself to not be sad if there wasn’t a line. Here was the test…

IT WAS A POSITIVE!!! Oh my gosh. Although that line on the left may be faint, IT IS THERE. I am pregnant! The embryo stuck and is growing inside me! OMG. I can’t even describe the kind of excitement that ran through me at that moment. It took every ounce of me to not call Brandon who was sleeping at work and tell him. I decided I wanted to somehow surprise him when I got home from work that night. (I had no clue the kind of torture that would be to go all day with the weight of this secret)

I still to this day while looking at this picture smile so big. What a miracle. The best miracle of life and it was happening inside me. Finally. We had waited so long for this moment. We had endured so much. It was our turn, finally. Finally.

I went through work with the biggest Koolaid smile on my face all day. Nothing could get me down. I was excited and happy. No amount of rude or angry patients would annoy me that day. I couldn’t wait to get home. I wasn’t sure how in the world I was going to tell Brandon, but I just wanted to get home and be able to do so.

I got home and said hello to him. He was finishing up dinner and I said I had to go run to the bathroom, as I have to do most nights when I get home from work. I decided I wanted to take one more test just incase the morning test was a fluke. Well sure enough, the test I took that night was also positive! AND it was even darker!!  Ok, we’re still pregnant!!

I shoved both the tests into the front pocket of my scrubs and ran out to eat dinner with Brandon. I still wasn’t sure how I was going to reveal the great news to him. It was hard to hide my excitement. He gave me the perfect opportunity to say something though. He had mentioned how he still had an upset stomach and wasn’t sure he was going to eat much of his dinner. I took that chance and said, “Well I’ve actually had an upset stomach all day from being so excited and nervous to tell you that you’re going to be a dad!” He was looking at me so strangely and I pulled out both tests and set them in front of him. He.Just.Stared. He also was wearing the biggest smile I have ever seen and he said, “What?! Really? Are you sure?” I just sat there and smiled and told him that I was indeed sure. These are real positive tests. We got up and hugged forever.

We were going to be parents. Real parents. To the baby we’ve dreamt of for years.

Our official blood test wasn’t until the 14th, and the wait killed me. Even though I knew what I saw on those tests was true, I just wanted it confirmed by the doctor. I think just like every new mom in shock, I took a test a day up until the blood draw. Each one got a little bit darker and darker. I seriously, 100%, was pregnant! Haha! Yes!

The day came to take the blood test and we were so happy. I got a phone call later that night from the doctor telling me that the transfer worked and we got a positive blood test. He wanted me to come back a few days later to repeat the blood test and make sure my HCG levels were continuing to double.  My first HCG level on the 14th was 102! Which is amazing. By four days later my HCG had more than doubled and was already 670!!! We knew this baby was growing just as it should be.

Years of trials, tests, blood, tears, ultrasounds, pain, grief, sorrow, excitement, happiness, hope and everything else in-between had passed. Our time had finally come. We were on the path that we have strived to be on. And we are so happy to share this all with you.

For now, my hands are starting to cramp with these last two blog posts, so I will leave you all here. But stay tuned for the rest of the story. There is still more to come! 😉